Saturday, August 25, 2007

dream car


the sun didn't come out for 5 days in a row last week. i'm pretty obsessed with the sun because i grew up in one of the cloudiest cities on earth and only escaped it to move to SF where i became accustomed to colors and shapes and their motivating qualities. i don't know if the gloom influenced the following dream, but i thought i would share it with you:
i'm on a metal gurney in a cafeteria being prepped for surgery. i ask my surgeon what they're going to do and she says, "we're going to operate on your brain". well, what part of my head are you going to cut into?” i ask. "oh, we'll go from the top of the head all along the side of your face and through your jaw." will it affect my speech?" i ask. i get the feeling it's really putting her out to be asked any questions at all, but as it is my brain, i press ahead. well, we just don't know." she says. she goes away and has a snack which involves tea. i can hear the clinking of cafeteria dishes. "let's do a test." she says when she returns. i see her coming at my head with the scalpel. won't i need anesthesia for this i ask?" "oh, no, the brain has no nerves in it." i don't seem to have the power to stop her as she carves a perfect puzzle piece shape out of the top left side of my head. she shows me the puzzle piece. as time passes i can tell that my brain is swelling a bit and poking through the puzzle piece hole in my head. she gives me the puzzle piece of my skull back so that i can hold it over my brain. i start screaming - "hey, something’s wrong here!
my brain seems to be coming out! should i be holding my own brain in like this?" and then i wake up as i'm yelling.
believe it or not i don't think i was too disturbed by the dream, i just had a lingering feeling of injustice when i awoke.
any interpretations are welcome!
rest assured, the sun did come out yesterday, and it was even warm enough to have a restorative post-op picnic in the park!
x x p

8 comments:

Unknown said...

I'll have to ponder your brain dreams. I am currently obsessed with Guy Maddin's film "Brand Upon the Brain" which basically involves a mad scientist who runs an orphanage in a lighthouse. Every night he takes some of the children into his lab and stabs a needle into their brains to get at the "nectar." He then injects his elderly wife with the substance each night which makes her young again.

I find it fascinating that we grew up in the same place, each lived in California for some 20 years (myself in the southern, sunnier part) and I can not get enough of gray, dreary weather! It invigorates me, motivates me, and I feel so much more comfortable in it. I exercise more, love to walk more, and am generally in a much better mood than when the oppressive sun relentlessly beats down, causing me to wear sun glasses. To me, these sun shades, which are absolutely necessary, dull the colors much more than a cloudy, gray day. What a queer thing, eh?

Love ya Phyll,
Signed The Ferrelli who left SD.

uncle said...

my book says when you dream about the brain its associated with the rational mind, the brain transmits information from both conscious and unconscious, transcending the third dimension of time and space. expand awareness of your own power and opportunity: develop interdimensional understanding of self and others. if you ask me, i just think yer crazy. ox US

patrick said...

When I read the part, "...my brain is swelling a bit and poking through the puzzle piece hole in my head" I pictured your brain acting like Pillsbury dinner rolls...you know what I mean?

They come in a cardboard like tube and you slam it on the counter top like a sledgehammer until it bursts open and the ultra white mucousy yet tacky dough oozes out of the container...just like your brain after the puzzle piece was cut into your head.

Is your head filled with dinner rolls?

Joseph - I loved Brand Upon the Brain. Its a really fucked up memoir that made me want to tell my story and take all kinds of liberties. Guy Madden kinda drives me crazy (The Saddest Music in the World was over my head...glass legs filled with beer...my fave part) but BUtB made me a true believer.

I heard there was live narration with a band playing at various showings around the country. That would have made it even cooler to see.

debstj said...

I read this on some MSN story about the types of dreams: “Dreams let you consolidate and integrate your experiences, without conflict with other input from real life,” Stickgold said. “Dreaming is like saying, ‘I’m going home, disconnecting the phone, nobody talk to me. I have to do work.’” I looked in the online dictionary of dream meaning and it says dreams of surgery are a wish to re-establish well being. Try eating a whole chocolate cake before you go to sleep and compare the dreams. This will provide the answer you seek...

55 Fingers said...

As Jeff & I used to amuse ourselves on occasion, "My brain hurts!", in the voice of the Gumby characters from Python. Yeah, I agree Joe, the sun sucks big time. Give me clouds, lots of clouds and some gray skies above--don't fence me in. Sorry, I was singing there. What the hell is this blog anyway? Pillsbury dough puzzle pieces of brain? BTW nice pictures Phyl!
Erich

alison said...

i didn't know you had a brain

alison said...

okay, here's what the doctor has to say:

i think there's a certain element of vulnerability involved here, i.e., what could be more vulnerable than lying on a gurney, about to be operated on? secondly, you are having things happen to you, i.e., you are a passive participant in your dream. do you feel powerless in your life? do you feel like things are happening to you more than you acting upon things? it's also interesting to note that your first concern was with your ability to speak, i.e., your ability to express yourself. are you feeling thwarted creatively? then there's the puzzle piece. are you feeling puzzled by your own identity? and finally, the very person who is supposed to take care of you simply hands you a puzzle piece and then walks off, completely abdicating her responsibility. this is obviously your mother. she brings you into this world and simply abdicates all her responsibilty to you, to provide you with a normal childhood, a decent start in life. and now look what a train wreck your life's become.

hope this helps!

phyllis said...

I'm touched by the thoughtful interpretations of my dream and you're all right, it all makes sense now. My crazy train wreck of a life is being steered by a pillsbury dough boy brain! maybe I'll slam my head on the counter and make dinner now.